Active listening definition: More effective communication thru skilled conversations

It takes a conscious effort to reverse the vicious cycle of miscommunication.

This process is called “active listening”. Other ways to describe it would be to call it “enhanced listening” or “focused listening”. The basic idea is that, as you listen to somebody, you pay special attention to understanding what this person says.

Now, what’s different from what you feel you’re already doing?

The difference is that, instead of just assuming you are listening, you actually focus on what the other person is saying in order to summarize what they said, in a way they would agree with. This ensures that your attention is on what they say and mean, as opposed to what you think they say or mean.

When you do active listening, you're agreeing to focus on a common goal: to improve your ability to deal with the problems in your relationship.

Active listening is very different from the way we usually deal with arguments. It will be difficult to make this kind of change when both of you feel very upset. Don't get discouraged if it doesn't work right away. Keep trying.

See how I approach this work:

- A journalist describes communication coaching with me

- Self-Help: Couple Communication Exercises