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Terms like child custody, child support and visitation
are not the language of the heart. They are family law, and they have
a cold, administrative feel.
Most importantly, these legal concepts reflect the laws' approach
to dealing with conflict between parents. They have an adversarial
connotation: there's a winner and a loser. They put parents on opposite
sides. This kind of language is not conducive to finding a way that
both parents can continue parenting after divorce.
The real language of parenting is about love, parenting time
and parenting responsibilities.
You'll do well to remember, even in the heat of battle, that child
custody, visitation and child support are only means
to an end - parenting your children. Whenever possible, leave the legal
terms aside. Think in terms of parenting time and parenting
responsibilities. These phrases put the focus where it should be
- on parenting. This will help parents focus on their common
goal - be good parents to their children.
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