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Divorce resources for dads:
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- Tape record a loving holiday message, listing the ten best things you love about your son or daughter. - Leave a series of loving messages on your child's answering machine. - Buy some clay; make your son or daughter a statue (however inept) of a pet gerbil they cherish, the dreamed of horse you can't afford, or any memento of a special time you've shared. - Hide post-it notes around your child's room, each one with a different appreciation message. Number the post-its, putting the first ones in easy places, making the hints as to where to find the next ones tougher and tougher; have a small gift at the end of the trail. - Tape a song from you about the relationship between you and your child. Make it funny (e.g., give yourself a "take-off" name of a group or artist [Me2; Yo Yo Pa]; make it self-effacing (if you can't sing, make a joke out of it). Put the tape in a player your child can use in private to reduce his or her embarrassment factor (and yours). - Email an egreeting card (e.g., eGreetings, Blue Mountain). Choose cards that reflect your child's interests. - If you've got the courage, send three "Truth or Dare" cards to your child. Begin each card with a "dare" statement -- inviting your child to fill in the "truth" and send the card back to you. "Dear Dad, What I dare you to understand about me is..."; "Dear Dad, What I dare you to apologize about is...'; "Dear Dad, I dare you to listen to this..." Your gift to your child is your 100% assurance that she or he will receive no response except thank you. - Do a video of yourself, showing your son or daughter your favorite memorabilia from their childhood (a soccer uniform, a trophy) and share what each memory means to you. - Create an album for each child reflecting the activities you shared all year. Make this an annual tradition. - Create your own greeting cards and send two or three to your child -- one sentimental, one funny, one outrageous. Don't enclose money -- keep the child focused on the sentiment attached! - Send five "opinion emails," asking your child her or his
opinion regarding: - Have a photo of you and your child reproduced on a mouse pad. That way he or she will be running their hands and eyes over it every day. The dad who does this gives the greatest gift. The gift of seeing her or his dad as a giver of time and love, not just money. The above, courtesy of Warren Farrell, Ph.D. Dr. Warren Farrell's M.A. and Ph.D. are in political science (UCLA; NYU). He is the author of many books, including Father and Child Reunion (2001), Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (a Book-of-the-Month Club selection), and two award-winning international best-sellers, Why Men Are The Way They Are plus The Myth of Male Power.Published in over 50 countries and in 11 languages, his books create links between self-help and legislative solutions to male-female and family problems such as the disenfranchisement of dads after divorce.Dr. Farrell has taught at the School of Medicine at the University of California in San Diego, as well as at Georgetown University, Rutgers, Brooklyn College, American University, and the California School of Professional Psychology. He has taught in political science, psychology, sociology, sexual politics, and public administration. He does expert witness work to assure children of divorce both parents.The Financial Times of London has selected Dr. Farrell as one of the world's top 100 "Thought Leaders." He has consulted with many Fortune 500 companies, as well as with NASA, the US Departments of Energy, Education and HUD. |
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