How to stretch your comfort zone in communication

It is usually a good idea to avoid talking about politics and religion when you're with people you don't know very well.  I'm not going to contradict the wisdom of this advice.  I'm just going to suggest that you might want to experiment with stretching your comfort zone in this area, as an exercise in communication.

When you stay absolutely safe, chances are the communication doesn't help making you closer to the other person.  If you take some risks, you reveal a little more of yourself, and you give a chance to the other person to reveal a little more of themselves. Of course, the trick is to not go so far that you turn people off.

Think of this as making little experiments. Having a visual metaphor may help: You’re venturing a tiny little bit away from the safe zone, observing whether the conversation remains cordial, being ready to retreat back if not. You’re extending the safe zone one small step at a time.

Notice how, in order to do this, you have to focus on how the other person feels, not just on the words or the logic of the argument. As you do this, you are more connected with the other person.

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