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Living in a single parent home has affected me greatly. I've experienced many things, things that a child should not go through. I remember when I was about eight years old, I rarely went outside to interact with my friends; because I had to stay in the house to watch my younger brother while my mother worked two jobs trying to support her family, alone. I know that my mother only wanted the best for my brother and I, but it felt like I was the mother to her son because she was always gone.
As I got older, I began looking for love in other places. Like boys, thinking they could replace the neglect, pain, and hurt that I felt from my father. After awhile I figured these boys couldn't replace the feelings that I felt, only my father can. So I took my frustrations out on my schoolwork. I was getting honors in middle school, but when I went to high school, it was a complete change.
It seemed to me every time I was doing good my father was nowhere to be found, but when I did something wrong he would show up and scold me. So, I started to do all the wrong things to get his attention and affection. My mother realized what I was doing and said, "Don't act this way because you are only hurting yourself. Just show your father that you are going to make it whether he's a part of your life or not."
It took me some time to get over the pain of not having a father in my life. And one thing that helped me through the pain is something my mother would always tell me, "God could be everything I need him to be, if I just trust in him." Of course I want a relationship with my dad (what kid doesn't) but I've learned that with God all things are possible.
Yolanda was one of the 3 winners of the CRC Teen Essay Contest. See more of the CRC Teen Essay Contest.
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