Improving self confidence & self esteem: defeating negative self talk

There's a ferocious voice that keeps pointing out our shortcomings. It shatters our self-esteem with a harsh putdown when something goes wrong. And it's very hard to run away from this voice: it is the voice of our negative inner critic.

How can we overcome this negative self talk?

At first glance, it seems to make sense to repeat affirmations as a way of building self confidence and self esteem.

But we sometimes confuse positive thinking with trying to convince ourselves through indoctrination. For instance: this assumes that, if we repeat often enough: I'm strong... then we'll be strong!

Well, this kind of "positive thinking" often backfires. The more we repeat: I'm strong, the more we fear we're not that strong. Our self esteem suffers when we try to delude ourselves. We're not fooled by empty statements, simply because we keep repeating them.

Lasting self-confidence stems from a sense of knowing who we really are.

This includes facing the negative inner critic, and being able to keep it at bay. Hearing the negative self talk, without believing it.

Once we have asked ourselves the difficult questions, we think positive because we really know who we are, what we can do, and what we can't.

A proactive approach bolsters your selfesteem because it helps you deal with these core issues.