Proactive stress program: Integrative process builds psychological & emotional resilience

To deal more productively with stress, it makes sense to not see stress in isolation. Instead, let's put it within the context of the bigger picture: Stress can lead to either burnout or to building resilience. Managing stress will help you turn stress into a way to build resilience.

In a way, what follows can be summarized by the cliche that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

As human beings, we have a need to make sense of what happens to us. This need shows up in all kinds of ways. For instance, it can manifest in a quest for meaning and purpose. On a more mundane level, it is what drives us to rehash memories of a troubling conversation.

We need to organize experience, to process it, to digest it. Just as we need to chew and digest food so that it can be absorbed by our organism and nourish us.

Difficult things that happen to us have the potential to nourish us and strengthen us… if we are able to make sense of them, to integrate them into our understanding of who we are and what we do. This kind of integration is a dynamic process: making sense of a new set of circumstances sometimes leads us to change our view of who we are, and to grow.

When too much happens, when we feel overwhelmed or stressed out, when we feel we don’t have time to chew and digest what’s happening… is probably when we need more than ever to make time for “processing”.

Think about it this way: Imagine that you’re very tired and hungry, carrying a heavy back pack. Along the way, there are plenty of places where food is available. But, instead of eating, you keep adding the food to your already heavy back pack! Doesn't it make more sense to take a restorative break?

I acknowledge that the word "processing" may have ominous connotations: heavy duty stuff... just as "we-need-to-have-a-talk" can be an ominous sign for a really heavy discussion.

Sometimes, there is indeed a need for a major re-organizing. We're talking about resetting the nervous system to "digest" a traumatic event which got it stuck.

But, often enough, the "processing" need only be a short pause, maybe even just the few seconds needed for an "aha" moment, a brief insight when we suddenly "get" what's been happening.

Our ability to learn from experience helps us build resilience.

Think about the way exercise builds muscles. The effort you exert when lifting weights or running is a stress for the body. However, it is important to note that:
- you stretch your comfort zone, but you don't stress the body beyond what it can tolerate;
- you need periods of rest to restore the body;
- if you don't do the above, accidents or breakdowns occur.

In a similar way, you increase your resilience as you handle stress beyond your comfort zone, with the caveat that you do so:
- within the bounds of what you can bear,
- and with enough down time to feel truly restored.

As you do that, you expand the "bandwidth" within which you can operate, and you increase your ability to handle stress and bounce back.

See also:

- Self-regulation & emotional resilience

- Growth is a creative process

coaching | therapy | couples | career | stress | relationships | resolutions | dreams | motivation | inspiration | mindfulness | 12 steps | self-help

coaching | therapy | couples | career | stress | relationships | resolutions | dreams | motivation | inspiration | mindfulness | 12 steps | self-help